Like many of us, I spent years getting angry at my body for not doing the things I wanted it to do, not being the things I wanted it to be. Things I had seen would gain me acceptance.
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this woman unseamed and split
you have a responsibility to honor
you must honor her wounds
you must honor her capacity for creation
you must honor her will to destruct
this is a woman's heart unfolding
My palms break my fall and separate
To make room for tiny pieces of gravel
that find a home in my hands,
*poem inspired by Cavat’s incarcerated female students
You tried to baptize yourself in toilet water and
As guards dragged you away, you cried Mama, Mamita
As though she could hear you through steel and brick.
I was raised to be still
to be silent
to play small
to be anything but what I am.
Until the day I began to raise myself
The Good Guy in the Sky
handing out love like pardons
But how can you gift me
something I already own?
the man tells me
i am his favorite place
to come
and pray.
I am not free until
I am not triggered
I am not free until
I can see that this is my courage
ou were told that you don't have power.
But that's like telling a mountain it can't move.
You and I both know that before any human on earth was born,
something mighty moved to make that mountain.
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the femininity i try to embrace
feels a weakness
i increase my pace.
Empty
Heart
Broken vows Broken heart Broken promises
Yet also broken eggshells I no longer need to walk on
Power is the pleasure I was taught to warily
shrink away from.
I write for the woman who swallows the small blue pill
who smiles outwardly, yet inside wars a battle that no one can see ..
Trigger warning: Poem around Sexual Assault
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Show me the way back to my own hidden wholeness.
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The truth is never pretty
but it must
Come.
Out.