What I Had Planned
By. Amy Young
What I Have Planned
You didn’t ask if you could take what was mine,
You only told me that it was sexy and fine.
My ‘no’ it fell on hollow ears,
What you took would change me for the coming years.
I told you from the start that I was not game,
You looked at me and I knew I would never be the same.
I kept trying to tell you what this was not,
When your reply whispered into my ear was “it’s fine, it’s hot”.
I tried to push you off of me,
But you did not care, I think you liked to hear my plea. The heat of your breath on my ear and neck,
Is something I wish I could simply forget.
After trying to struggle to get you away,
I left my body and prayed for another day.
You had your one player fun and got up to leave,
You turned and said something that I still can’t conceive.
You looked me in the eye and said you didn’t want me To become clingy and to attach,
As if I would ever come to you for a rematch. I never wanted or asked for any of this,
And you quickly turned it on me as if I were in bliss.
I got in the shower to wash you off of me,
I quickly found bruises you left that only I could see.
The next day I got up and saw you at work,
You asked daily if I wanted to see you again, what a jerk.
For months I felt nothing, I just moved through my day,
It took another man touching me before I got the courage to say. This had to end, I couldn’t let it go on,
I came forward to tell how my body was not a prize to be won.
I talked to the police and told them what happened that day,
Telling every detail and description was not something I wanted to say. But I did it for ‘her’ and I did it for me,
I knew if I were silent, too many hearts crushed was all I could see.
I told them my story and then they talked to you,
The detective later told me, there wasn’t much they could do. He wished we could have gotten you, and locked you away, But with our system, we must wait for another day.
One woman isn’t enough, but to keep what I know,
If you do it many times, you just might reap what you sow.
The problem with this, so many lives with be shattered,
Before you maybe start to recognize that your actions truly mattered.
There is something I have to say to you, You took so much from me, this is so true. But you will not win, I will not back down,
I will walk tall and I will not drown.
You see, you tried to take me out,
I had a time while I was filled with doubt.
You just didn’t see that you were just a piece of my story, For now I walk with my head tall filled with glory.
I am much stronger than what you did,
You hoped I would stay down and hide like a kid.
You took something from me but you planted some more,
You gave me the courage to stand for myself and walk out the door.
I am strong, I am courageous, I am brave, I am kind,
You own nothing of me, because our souls did not bind.
Thank you for helping me truly understand,
No one has the ability to keep me from what I have planned.
Amy is a single woman living in Los Angeles, California. She works in production and writes what she feels passionate about. She feels passionate about women knowing and understanding their worth and the power that they hold within themselves. In her spare time, she spends her time training jiu jitsu and connecting with those she loves. You can read some of her work on her blog at www.takethisfeather.com or on instagram at ayoungdreamer.
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