Numbers | Released

By Hannah Arnould

Numbers

First. Shared disgust. It happens. Dismissed.

Second. How could you. Didn’t think you were that kind of person. Judged.

Third. Gossip. We were done. Hurt.

Silence. Years.

Fourth. Cement structure under feet, night sky above, your arm around. Protected. Heard.

Fifth. Why. Why. Why.  Fight back. Report it. Crazy.

Sixth. Two sentences. It was understood. And never talked about again. Cared.

Seventh. Cried together. Defined by strength. Accepted.

Eighth. In the office. Clinical. Validated. 

Ninth. On the couch. Nervous sweating. Listening heart. Secret is out. Loved.

Infinite. Part of the story, not the whole. No longer defined. 

Released

No one knew her promise of protection

Protecting others from the darkness

Darkness became the burden

The burden of protecting hearts never meant to be carried alone.

Burdens like a loved, haggard, backpack full of collected stones.

Stones started escaping along the sidewalk as she went.

She started to feel the weight off her shoulders until she noticed

She ran back to pick them up and put them back into place.

Protect them from the ground and keep them where she thought they belonged

However, they were not hers to carry.

The weight took over her body; the protection took over her mind.

Until, she set the bag down

Released the burden of stones

Released the burden of other’s.

And ran

Released to herself

Released to freedom.

Hannah is a fiercely loyal friend, sister, wife, and mental health advocate. She is a deeply spiritual, creative, adventurer who seeks to find gratitude in the every day. Hannah works as a clinical social worker.