The Louder I Speak

I’ve realized telling my story once did not ease my pain. But sharing it 20 times changed the trajectory of my life.

“You are a Survivor, My Darling:” The messiness of Healing after Sexual Abuse

I’ve never had a chance to experience what “healthy” is. I’ve been adapting and then re-adapting again and again to external trauma for my whole life until I’m like this knotted up old tree. The hardest thing for assault survivors like me is making the decision everyday – on a daily fucking basis – to strive towards healthy sexuality.

Megan FebuaryJanuary 2, 2020sexual assault, sexual trauma, me tooComment

Sympathy for the Devil

My rape was a climax in a lifetime of trauma. Braver voices than mine have overcome the shame of violation, the lingering fear of violence and pressed onwards with their lives. I want to ask them, what did they do with the burning self-hatred?

Megan FebuaryDecember 4, 2019sexual trauma, sexual assault, trauma, me too, essay, literary magazine, writingComment

These Days I Don't Write Poems Anymore

These days I don’t write poems anymore, and I feel a part of me is too comfortable hiding, too comfortable with the idea of getting lost in the shadows of a self who never was or never was entirely whole.

Megan FebuaryDecember 3, 2019writing, essay, literary magazine, publisher, sexual trauma, me too, healing Comments

Rape With a Capital R

I am a writer, a communicator, and yet, I could not say or acknowledge the R word for two years after I was Raped.

Megan FebuaryNovember 27, 2019rape, sexual trauma, sexual assault, writer, me too, sexual shameComment

A Soft Place to Fall

I carry my most painful and traumatic experiences in my body. The body remembers. There are still some places that are so fragile and tender that they require extra nourishment, support, and intentionality.

Megan FebuaryApril 23, 2019trauma, sexual trauma, miscarriage, grief, yoga, wellness, healing, zabie yamasaki, nonfictionComment

Women's War

My very soul is a battleground for abuse and expectation, and my voice is roaring healing over it all.

Megan FebuaryApril 22, 2019nonfiction, trauma, healing, spirituality, sexual trauma, me tooComment